A person calls for roadside assistance after breaking down on Watt Street in Ware, Georgia.
Caller: Hello? Hello?
Dispatcher: Hello... are you there?
C: Oh, hello.
D: Yes, hello.
C: Oh, thank goodness.
D: Can I help you?
C: Yes, yes.
D: What can I help you with?
C: My car has broken down.
D: What seems to be the problem.
C: Well... my car won?t work.
D: Yes, I realise.
C: There?s no need to be like that.
D: Sorry. What has happened?
C: I was just driving along and the car died.
D: Dead?
C: Stopped working. Conked out. Kapput!
D: There?s no need to be like that.
C: Sorry. The car has stopped working and I need roadside help.
D: Of course. That?s what we do.
C: Excellent!
D: I just need some details. Where are you?
C: Yes.
D: I mean what town.
C: Ware.
D: The place you?ve broken down?
C: Ware.
D: The name of the place you standing right now?
C: I am in Ware.
D: What are you asking me for?
C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you.
D: Where?
C: That?s the name.
D: Where?s name.
C: Yeah.
D: Well go ahead and tell me.
C: That?s it.
D: That?s where?
C: Precisely.
D: Look do you actually own a car?
C: What kind of question is that? Of course I own a car. And it?s broken down.
D: Where?s it broken down.
C: That?s right.
D: Is it?
C: Yes.
D: Look, when the repair man comes out to your car, where do you want him to go?
C: Straight there.
D: Where?
C: There.
D: The car?
C: Yes. Now you?ve got it.
D: Got it? Where?
C: YES!
D: Ok. Do you have sat nav?
C: Yes.
D: When your sat nav finds the car, where does it say it is?
C: Ware.
D: The sat nav.
C: Ware.
D: The satellite navigation.
C: In Ware.
D: What are you asking me for?
C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you!
D: Fine. Forget the town.
C: No, not Forget...
D: I?m mean, let?s move on.
C: Ok.
D: What?s the name of the street?
C: How did you know that?
D: What?
C: Yes.
D: Pardon?
C: No, Watt... Street.
D: What are you asking me for?
C: I?m not asking you, I?m telling you!
D: You?re not telling me anything.
C: I?m telling you everything. Now I?m on Watt Street.
D: I don?t know.
C: Why not I just told you.
D: Told me?
C: Yes.
D: Told me what?
C: Yes.
D: What?
C: That?s it.
D: The name of the street?
C: Spot on.
D: Spot on?
C: Spot on.
D: So, now we?re getting somewhere. Spot On Street. Now what?s the name of the town?
C: No, that?s the name of the street!
D: What is?
C: Yes.
D: Yes?
C: Yes.
D: So, Yes Street in what town?
C: No, Watt Street, Ware.
D: What are you asking me for?
C: I?m not asking you!
D: Ok, this is getting us nowhere.
C: No, just Ware.
D: Ok.
C: Ok? You?ve got it?
D: Say I am driving to you what sign should I look out for?
C: Ware.
D: When I?m driving to you?
C: Ware.
D: Driving to you.
C: Ware.
D: Oh, let?s not start this again.
C: No... the car won?t start. That?s the problem.
D: Is there a sign on the road?
C: Yes.
D: What does it say?
C: Watt.
D: The sign.
C: Watt.
D: The sign on the road.
C: Watt.
D: READ OUT THE LETTERING ON THE ROAD SIGN.
C: Watt Street.
D: YES, ON THE STREET.
C: Watt Street.
D: THE STREET YOU?RE STANDING ON!
C: Watt Street.
D: Oh, I can?t take this any more. I?m going to tell the repair man whatever you tell me.
C: Excellent. This has taken a very long time.
D: Where is the town.
C: Yes.
D: Yes Town?
C: No, Ware.
D: Where Town?
C: Do you have difficulty understanding English?
D: No, why?
C: Where Town. Me on phone. You listen.
D: What?
C: Yes, that?s the street.
D: Ok, you are on What Street in Where.
C: Now that?s the first thing you?ve said right.
D: I don?t even know what I?m talking about!
C: But that?s perfect - Watt Street, Ware.
D: Please don?t start that again.
C: No problem.
D: So lastly, your name?
C: Annie / Mike (depending on actors).
D: Ok, Annie / Mike wha... Do you have a surname?
C: Place / Orr.
D: Annie Place / Mike Or... Any Place? / My Car? Goodnight!!!
Note: For performances in the UK the road is Watt Street in Ware, Hertfordshire.
? Written by Thom Goddard in 2001
