Unacceptable Grade

Comedy Monologues (174993 Views 42 Comments)

Oh. My. God. A-? Mrs. Cleary, you have got to be kidding. Who the hell...gets...an A-? I'd rather have a B+ for crying out loud. Do you expect me to receive this paper like a jolly old saint nick? No! How can I show this to my mother? She'll have a heart attack! (pause) A-. I'll never get a decent job. You-you-you ruined my life! You had this plot against me all along, didn't you? Didn't you? You were jealous when the teachers wanted to hang around me for my intelligence and not you. They told me that your were a selfish loner but I never listened to them. You were jealous when Glenn Coco gave out candy canes to his favorite teachers and you got squat. He told me you're weird and scary. You were jealous when Ms. Fordhorn won teacher of the year and she's only been teaching for one year. She thinks you're a scrawny old lady who's got only one string of life. Lady who has nothing left and needs to retire before you turn into dust. And don't get me started about that-Mrs. Cleary stop interrupting me when I'm on rampage, it's very ru-no, stop telling me that I have the wrong test! I don't want to hear about it! What I want to know is why do I have an A-? I worked really hard...wait. Did you say I have to wrong test? Oh, yeah. It says 'Doris Donnis' on the name line. Ohhhkay. And this is mines, with a grade of an A+. (pause; bowing head) Your Grace, I can explain. You know how when people get mad they start saying things that are NOT TRUE? Yeah well...I have to get to class.

****MUST GIVE CREDIT TO JENORA HAMILTON IN ANY VIDEO, BOOK OR BASICALLY ANYTHING CONTAINING THIS MONOLOGUE

Comedy Type:

Comedy Monologues

Script Length:

Post date:

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:30

Script Market:

Public

Author's Message

Want to get in touch with me? www.twitter.com/justjenora or search Jenora Hamilton on Google +

Copyright Statement

12-Apr-13

~AnonWriter

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174993 reads

Comments

Submitted by Unicorns (not verified) on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:48

i looooooove this! ANd if anyone named loverbaetboy tells you it sucks dont listen to him/her

Submitted by Lizette Galarza (not verified) on Sun, 05/05/2013 - 08:04

Hey I love this! Could I possibly use this for my school Poetry Jam??

Submitted by Cameron Justin (not verified) on Wed, 06/05/2013 - 09:17

Hey, can use this for my YouTube channel, I'll be sure to give you credit. It will be a bit different though, of course.

Submitted by AnonWriter on Wed, 06/05/2013 - 14:45

I don't mind anyone using it.

Submitted by Sophie (not verified) on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 00:53

I am doing this to audition for my dream school

Submitted by David Mobeck (not verified) on Sun, 09/22/2013 - 07:27

Well if you don't mind I want to do this for a drama competition

Submitted by JewelWinkler on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 08:47

Is this published?

Submitted by AnonWriter on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:30

Unfortunately, no. But I'm working on it

Submitted by Aiden McMinimy (not verified) on Sun, 12/01/2013 - 13:18

I hope you don't mind if I use this script for my audition that is coming up? It is really quite hilarious and I think I'll be able to do it well.

Submitted by AnonWriter on Sun, 12/01/2013 - 14:28

I'm so flattered that you all want to perform my monologue! If it made you laugh, I've done my job. Perform away!

Submitted by Sophia (not verified) on Thu, 12/05/2013 - 11:55

This is so awesome!!! Hilarious, flows perfectly, lots of feeling. I know you won't mind that I want to use this for an audition. I'll also show it to my friends, and give you the credit. I'll make a few little changes to this wonderful piece and TA-DA! Amazing. All thanks to you. This is spectacular writing and made me Laugh Out Loud literally!

Submitted by ??+? (not verified) on Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:25

I love this but I'm going to change it u a little

Submitted by actress unknown (not verified) on Fri, 01/24/2014 - 09:02

can i use this as an audition for drama club at my school

Submitted by ayesha khan (not verified) on Sun, 02/02/2014 - 00:45

um im actually looking for a really funny play for an english b assignment this is cool but not what i wanted but its gud work :D

Submitted by pineapple (not verified) on Thu, 03/13/2014 - 13:18

Uh hi may I use your monologue for my audition

Submitted by Harmony (not verified) on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 06:04

I LOVE THIS! Can I use it? :) btw- I had to make some minor tweaks because were not allowed to use "bad words" like 'hell' so may I tweak it a little and still use it? THNKS SO MUCH!!! Keep it up Jenora!

Submitted by AnonWriter on Fri, 04/18/2014 - 01:02

If you can't use some of the words, sure, you can go ahead and replace it. Do whatever you have to do to get the best out of it.

Submitted by Boom Boom (not verified) on Mon, 06/30/2014 - 01:17

hey :) could i have your permission to use this for a drama class? this is so far one of the best and i love it so much! thanks <3

Submitted by Fidah (not verified) on Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:44

Thank you for sharing. Gonna use it for sure :)

Submitted by ayesha (not verified) on Sat, 07/19/2014 - 01:39

i really like this monologue but I'm not sure what accent it would be in. if you could write back and give me some tips i would be sooooo grateful. im using your monologue for an audition for a big agency in London! thnx ;)

Submitted by ayesha (not verified) on Sat, 07/19/2014 - 01:40

Submitted by AnonWriter on Sat, 07/19/2014 - 03:09

@ayesha Any accent would work with this. If you choose a Russian accent, you might have to change the words around a bit. For example, instead of saying "you have got to be kidding," you'll say "you've got to be kidding" (it makes it easier), and instead

Submitted by ayesha (not verified) on Sun, 07/20/2014 - 21:59

Thank you so much for the good advice! Your monologue is great!! I'll defiantly give you the credit at the audition! P.S its Sylvia Young Agency in London thanks :)

Submitted by annabelle stewart (not verified) on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 19:21

this is a great monologue, I used this for one of my drama assessments and for my school talent quest !!!!

Submitted by songrila@yahoo.com on Sat, 11/08/2014 - 08:24

Hey! Can I use this for a talent show?! It's SOOO GREAT!!!

Submitted by Kathryn (not verified) on Fri, 02/20/2015 - 03:33

I would very much like to give this to one of my actors to use in class. Thank you so very much for your work!!

Submitted by Mahesh (not verified) on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 08:54

Can I use your script?

Submitted by Smriti Sharma (not verified) on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 01:39

Can I use your script for a competition in my school?

Submitted by Smriti Sharma (not verified) on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 01:48

Can i use this script for a competition in my school?

Submitted by Rubyyyyy (not verified) on Sun, 04/26/2015 - 20:44

OHH MAY I PLEASE USE THIS FOR A AUDITION??

Submitted by unknown (not verified) on Thu, 10/08/2015 - 04:12

using it for sure

Submitted by KEVIN (not verified) on Tue, 01/26/2016 - 01:47

It's really good

Submitted by Tim Martin (not verified) on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 05:53

I am using this for a funny monologue, pro tip, use a nerd character

Submitted by Uelmj (not verified) on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 21:16

Love it like oh my god it is so good can I please use it

Submitted by Anna Leslie (not verified) on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 10:44

Can I use this for my audition to get into theatre 2 at my high school? And is there any way to shorten this monologue because my audition has to be 30 seconds. Thank you so much for your work, I love this monologue!

Submitted by Ema (not verified) on Fri, 05/06/2016 - 14:19

Dear arthor, I really enjoyed reading your monologue and i was just wondering if i could use this for a talent show if you please. I would 100% include your name and give you credits for it ..im really hoping for you the best keep writting more and hopefully it will get published ! Thanks in advance ..

Submitted by Emily Bubbles (not verified) on Tue, 06/07/2016 - 05:03

I like this. I hope to be able to use this for my monologue for my Theater final and i will be sure to give you credit where credit is due is it okay if i change a couple words to make it g-rated. This is amazing Jenora .

Submitted by Emily Bubbles (not verified) on Tue, 06/07/2016 - 05:19

This is what i changed i hope its okay i gave you full credit Unacceptable Grade By Jenora Hamilton Oh... My... Gods??? AN A-? Mrs. Cleary, you have got to be kidding me. Who the WORLD...gets...an A-? I might as well have a B+ for crying out loud!! Do you expect me to receive this paper like a jolly old saint nick? No! How can I show this to my mother? She'll have a heart attack! (pause) A-. I'll never get a decent job. You-you-you ruined my life! You had this plot against me all along, didn't you? Didn't you? You were jealous when the teachers wanted to hang around me for my intelligence and not you. They told me that your were a selfish loner but I never listened to them. You were jealous when Glenn Coco gave out candy canes to his favorite teachers and you got squat. He told me you're weird and scary. You were jealous when Ms. Fordhorn won the teacher of the year award and she's only been teaching for one year. She thinks you're a scrawny old lady who's got only one string of life. Lady who has nothing left and needs to retire before you turn into dust. And don't get me started about that-Mrs. Cleary stop interrupting me when I'm on rampage, it's very ru-no, stop telling me that I have the wrong test! I don't want to hear about it! What I want to know is why do I have an A-? I worked really hard...wait. Did you say I have to wrong test? Oh, yeah. It says 'Doris Donnis' on the name line. Ohhhkay... And this is mine? With a grade of an A+. (pause; bowing head) Your Grace, I can explain. You know how when people get mad they start saying things that are NOT TRUE? Yeah well...I have to get to class...See you tomorrow... Mrs. Cleary???..Sorry...I...I...Sorry???(leaves room in embarrassment and in defeat) ****MUST GIVE CREDIT TO JENORA HAMILTON IN ANY VIDEO, BOOK OR BASICALLY ANYTHING CONTAINING THIS MONOLOGUE****

Submitted by Emily Bubbles (not verified) on Tue, 06/07/2016 - 05:21

Thank you so much you are amazing with this monologue thank you for creating this

Submitted by AnonWriter on Tue, 06/07/2016 - 07:45

You're changes are fine. Have fun with it & thanks for choosing this monologue! @Emily Bubbles

Submitted by Hjamshed on Fri, 10/14/2016 - 13:54

Hi I have a speech competition in a few days is it okay if I use your monologue?

Submitted by kozlowski.miche... on Mon, 10/19/2020 - 14:55

Hi! Due to COVID, my students are doing monologues this year in lieu of an entire theatrical production. One of my students would like to use your monologue - Unacceptable Grade. How do I obtain your permission?

3m Comedy Monologues - Unacceptable Grade

Unacceptable Grade