Bugs

I think that everybody here can agree that bugs are creepy as hell. Some people just don't know what it is about them that makes them so horrifying. Maybe it's how they scatter around, how they steal and infest your food, (quietly) the possibility of them taking your soul from your pinky (normally) who cares? The bottom line, they're scary. Not like Halloween scary, but the type of scary that makes you want to snuggle with your blanket and pray to God himself that that tiny ant won't bust open your door wielding a knife and murder the crap out of you until you are super dead. Some people overreact just a tiny bit. Like this one time, I saw a spider in my shower. I leaned into the wall and used the shower head to try and get it to the drain. It worked well at first, until I moved it closer to me and leapt 7 feet in the air to not make any contact with this 3cm beast that's only desire is to make spider babies in my brain. I might've slipped landing and gotten a minor concussion, but hey, at least the spider was safely drowning to death! Regular bugs are creepy, but just imagine how bad they would be if they talked. You walk into the kitchen to see a roach on your counter. You're standing there like "Aaaaah!....It's a roach..." And the roach is like "Hey, hey hey hey hey hey, HEY! Relax, I'm just here to take your food and impregnate your family's brains, no biggy." "Okay, but, like, can you not?" "I must, it is part of the prophecy" "Ummm, but how about no though" "I must" "But-" "Prophecy" "Come on bruh" "Fine, I'll leave. I just got 2 1/2 tons of your good on my back so it might take a bit." "Okay, just, like...hurry up." Even that horrifying idea does not come close to the fact that a lot of bugs fly. Some, like butterflies, are elegant and graceful, while others, like Satan roaches, are hideous and demonic. Finding out if a roach flies without knowing at first is awful. You get all geared to fight this land dwelling monstrosity, and as you prepare to strike with that kill blow, the mother trucker starts flying, leaving you going Aaaaah and screaming for your mom. And I know from experience that that is not a pretty sight. Also, can you imagine what those little things are thinking. Here, let me give you an idea. I am a bug. Just, just go with it, we all have imagination. "Hmmmmmmmm, I would be way happier if your family is dead" stuff like that. Seriously, I'm convinced that bugs are just on this planet to BUG you. HA ha ha, get it? Man, this is bull, I'm out.