This major cutie came and talked to me! Awsome right? WRONG! The first time he smiled, ew! His teeth were covered in some type of red sauce! Then he spoke and the sauce flew all the way to my face! (beat) It was icky! After that, he had the guts to ask me to accompany him to a formal party. I didn't want to be mean, so I took the offer. Two days later: I'm dressed in my pink gown with the glitter all over it, and looking fabulous. I arrive at the party before him and saw a couple people I knew and went to talk to them. An hour later: he pops up in a...a...what's the word? A maroon tuxedo with a green bow tie over a blue tie. And, oh my lord, he didn't brush his teeth. Red sauce, everywhere! I was beyond embarrassed when he walked up to me and said, in the voice of Fat Albert, "Hey, hey, hey, it me, me, me!" The building erupted with laughter! I'm in a state of shock, like, what am I doing with this guy in the first place? So to keep myself from looking stupid, I flip my hair (flips hair two times. Pause. Flips hair again) and said out loud, "Excuse me? Do I know you?" then turned my back on him, but turned back around to see his face. He was just standing there, staring. So I flip my hair and turned my back to him again. I felt bad when I heard all those people saying "ooooooooh" and the sound of him running away and crying. But I can-not have a bad repu-tation! When the year book comes out, who would I be paired with for boyfriend girlfriend? Him! That would look bad, right? I am so done with dating local boys (beat) but he was kinda cute...
***MUST GIVE CREDIT TO JENORA HAMILTON IN ANY VIDEO, BOOK, OR BASICALLY ANYTHING CONTAINING THIS MONOLOGUE
