*** I hate the reds! I hate everything about them! They?re making their way into homes ALL across America! I feel like they always see and hear everything I do. Sometimes I can?t tell they?re there. Blending in like all the others. Some people see them as I benefit to society, to me they are nothing more than a menace! The Russians just had to bring them to America! I hate the reds! They?re going to destroy us all from the inside out I?m telling you! Have you ever seen Ariana Grande?s hair?!?! Also red! I hate it! They are multiplying in the hundreds day by day. I hate them! I hate them! Tomatoes are just so evil! They are just the scum of the earth! I mean have you ever looked at a tomato?! I mean really looked at one?! Well here. Here is a picture of a tomato under a microscope.
(Actor pulls out a picture of a monster or preferably bat teeth)
Look at that vial, heinous, atrocious beast of a tomato! Not good enough?
Then let me present the monster itself.
(Actor pulls out a tomato [Possibly with gloves] and places it on the table)
I feel like its always watching me! The devil with a thousand eyes! I mean what was god thinking when he made that. Like what was he going for?! a bloated strawberry?! Looking at a tomato just makes me want to slice it !
(Actor pulls out a knife and slices the tomato in half)
and again!
(Repeats getting faster each time)
and again!
(Repeats)
and again!
(Repeats)
and again
(repeats)
and again
and again
(repeats)
and again
(repeats)
and again
(repeats)
AND AGAIN!
(begins dicing)
I just hate tomatoes so much, but they are just so damn good on a sandwich!
***END***
