I don't get why I fall for some people. Those who I fall for can simply just sit like a rock, and if they happen to have the misfortune of looking in my general direction, I'm hooked. Due to this combined with my low self esteem, I have pretty much lowered my expectations to anything that has a hole in it. So needless to say, I have fallen for a lot of different people, and do you know what happens when you fall for that special someone? The world is wonderful once more and you pursue that person. "This time it's different", you tell yourself, "This time it's true love because my penis tells me so." For some people, this pursuit gets them into a relationship. For me, this gets me a restraining order.
Sometimes I wish love was simple, but it isn't. Most of the time, relationships don't happen by "Boy meets girl, they fall in love, have two children, then retire and die in Florida." From what I understand, there is an overwhelming amount of courage that is required by one to ask another out. Self doubt creeps and overpowers you like your pedophilic uncle on your 7th birthday. When exactly do you tell one that you wish to share a life of care together? What will you do if she didn't care as much for you as you did for her? How will you begin your period of chronic masturbation if you get rejected? As perplexing as love is, it's quite funny to me how much we still strive to understand it more each day.
What prompted me to write this? I've fallen for someone yet again, of course. Though I think I've learned my lesson from my countless experiences before this one, I still have this stupid little thing called hope inside of me. I don't know why I still have any hope, as it seems to me the equivalent of burning your hand on a stove, then trying it once more hoping it won't feel like Satan's fiery asshole this time around. Staying away from love seems like the smart thing to do, but when was I ever the type who did smart things? I'm fine with others calling me an idiot, but this time, I swear. It's different.
