Barry has been living in a Wendy house in the back garden of the family home for 6 months. Val, Barry's wife has asked Terry, his oldest freind, to have a chat as they are becoming more and more concerned about his behaviour Terry
"I'm not going to beat around the bush Barry we're worried about you"
Barry
"Worried about me ? Why would you be worried about me ?
Terry
"Well , I don't want you to think we're not grateful but when you invited myself and Jean to yours for dinner I didn't expect to be dining in a Wendy house"
Barry
"It's great isn't it, so much freedom"
Terry
"That's because you've got nothing in here"
Barry
"Well I intend to add bits and bobs as I go, it'll look much better when the new kitchen is fitted "
Terry
"New kitchen ? I can't even see the old one."
Barry
"Well I like to cook outside , especially in the summer "
Terry
"Where do you even sleep ?
Barry
"In the master bedroom"
Terry
"The master bedroom?"
Barry
"Yes, over there. Would you like the tour?"
Terry
"The tour?"
Barry
"Here is the lounge, the kitchen, bathroom, utility room, kitchen, study and dining room. And not forgetting the spare bedroom "
Terry
"The spare bedroom? Look Barry, I feel bad saying this as you're my oldest and best mate but I think you've lost control of your senses "
Barry
"What makes you say that?"
Terry
"Well last night you served myself and Jean stones and mud"
Barry
"Well yes I must apologise for that"
Terry
"Ok, well that's a start"
Barry
"Yes, very annoying , not my usual supplier, but when you're up against the clock you take what you can get "
Terry
"You mean you actually paid money for the stones and mud?"
Barry
"Of course , only the best for my oldest friends"
Terry
"Just listen to what you're saying Barry, you're not thinking straight. This isn't your house"
Barry
"Yes it is "
Terry
"No it isn't "
Barry
"Yes it is, I pay the mortgage "
Terry
"How do you even pay a mortgage on a Wendy House? "
Barry
"Direct Debit , same as everyone else "
Terry
"But it's just poles and four walls of thin plastic "
Barry
"All the more reason you should keep the noise down, we don't want the neighbours complaining"
Terry
"You are the bloody neighbours Barry , this is your backgarden"
Barry
"I know i always wanted to live in a detached house "
Terry (exasperated)
"The thing is Barry , I think Val wants a divorce "
Barry
"A divorce?"
Terry
"Yeah a divorce and can you blame her? You haven't stepped foot in the family home for 6 months, she misses you "
Barry
"She does ?"
Terry
"Of course she does, we all do ......."
Terry
"Yeah it was fun when you moved your stuff into the garden at first , I think we all thought it was some sort of temporary mid-life crisis, like buying leather trousers or wearing a scarf. But it's time to end this charade now Barry, come on, come back inside"
Barry
"You're right Terry, I've been so stupid"
Terry
"Heh, don't worry about it "
Barry
"No but I do, there's only one thing for it, I'll put the Wendy house on the market in the morning"
Terry
"What????"
Barry
"There's no way she's getting half of my house in the divorce , especially if I'm getting a roof terrace put in. Thanks Terry, thank you for opening my eyes. Do you want to stay for tea? It's spaghetti"
Barry holds aloft some earthworms, Terry stands in stunned silence
