Interviewer : Aapne Peena Kab Chalu Kiya? Bevdaa:Ek din main apne drinking problem se etna tang aa gaya ki maine first time daru ki bottle ko muh se lagaya aur daru ka pehlaa ghot piya.
Interviewer :Lekin woh pehlee baar kaise hua?
Bevdaa:Hua,hua main tha wahan pe. Aap the kya? Nahin naa! Toh aapko kaise pata?
Interviewer :Khair chodiye? Din mein kitni peete hain?
Bevdaa:Nahin pita.
Interviewer :Kya aap daru nahin peete?
Bevdaa:Maine kab kahan ki main daru nahin pita? Main paani nahin peeta. Aaap ne specify nahin kiyan tha. I am drunk but I am paying attention, just like I do while driving.
Interviewer :Kya aap drunk driving karte hain?
Bevdaa:Nahin. Ballam Karta Hain Driving, Jab Main peeta hu. He doesn't let me drive.
Interviewer :Yeh Ballam Kaun Hain?
Bevdaa:Pata Nahin , main usse tabhi milta hu jab mein nashe mein dhund rehta hoo.
Interviewer :Aapki biwi ne kahan ki ballam aap hi hain? Aap apne aap ko ballam kehta firte hain jab aapne bahut pee rakhi ho?
Bevdaa:Meri Biwi Ne Aap Se Jhoot Kahan.
Interviewer :Kyu?
Bevdaa:Sharif Aurat Ghar ki andar ki baat bahar ke vichitra dikhne wale insanon ko nahin batati. Toh either aap agree kijiye ki meri biwi ne jhoot bola yaa fir aap mere saath agree kijiye ki meri biwi sharif nahin hain.
Interviewer :Etna Peena Sehat Ke Le Haanikarak Hota Hain?
Bevdaa:Main tumhari tarah 400-500 saal chudail ki tarah jeeke bevdon ka interview nahin karna chahta. Kya fayda tumhare life kaa. thu....
Interviewer : Bevde!! Zabaan sambhalke baat kar?
Bevdaa:Bevda mat bol. Bevdejee bol. Bevdejee. Respect dena sikhon mehmanon ko. Bhai ,Main Apne Aap ko sambhal nahin pata toh zabaan kaise sambhale. Yeh studio gol gol kyu ghum rahan hain!!
Interviewer :Apko chakkar aa rahin hain?
Bevdaa:Main kya pet se hu joh mujhe chakkar ayegi , ulti hogi. Nahin, apka studio ghoom rahan hain.
Interviewer :Kya baat kar rahein hain?
Bevdaa:Agar etni badi duniya gol ghum sakti hain toh studio kyu nahin ghum sakta.
Interviewer :Apko kaunsi sharab pasand hain?
Bevdaa:Apki kitni biwiyan hain?
Interviewer: Es sawal ka mere sawal se kya taluq?
Bevdaa:Taluq hain My Lord!! Taluq hain. App chupa kyu rahein ho,
Interviewer: Ek.
Bevdaa:Toh kya aap apni doosri biwi ke saamne pehli biwi ki taarif karoge. Nahin naa.Waise se agar mein whiskey bola toh brandy naraaz ho jayegi. brandy bola toh beer.es liye mujhe sab pasand hain.
Interviewer:Khair , apki family aap ke peene se pareshan honge.
Bevdaa:Nahin. Woh toh khush. Biwi ko tohfe milte , bacchon ke report card par sign ,, bade khush hain. Unko main tab pasand nahin aata jab mein peeta nahin hu. Mera beta toh mera dost ho gaya hain . us din mujhe bola..
Marks mujhe daddy kam mile
Toh thoda thoda gum hua
Aaa mere sang daru pile
Aur dete hain teacher ko baddua
Interviewer:Apke Bacche ki Umar Kitni?
Bevdaa:Koi das bees ka hoga!!
Interviewer:Aapko apne bacche ki umar nahin pata
Bevdaa:Arre ajkal ke bacche etne jaldi bade ho jate hi umar ka track rakhna na mumkin hain. Bas har saal joh school ke fees mein ezafa hota hain usse umar ka andaza lag jata hain.
Interviewer:Aur aap kaam par toon ho ke jaate hain
Bevdaa:Dekhiya mera ek call center hain. Jab koi gora bahut jyada shor machata hain tab mein phone pe aata hoon aur usse khamosh kar deta hu. Peena mere bahut kaam aata hain.
Interviewer:Aap kyu chahte hain ki daru pe tax na ho?
Bevdaa:Main kehta hu paani, bijlee aur gas par tax badao. Log yeh sab waste karte hain. Aapne kabhi kisiko daru waste karte hue dekha hain. nahin na. esliye.
Interviewer: Aur apko satark shehri award mila?
Bevdaa:Woh actually balam ko milna chahiye. Balam adaat ke anusaar mrs sharma ke khidki ke neeche khada tha. Usne ek aadmi ko khidki se andar ghooste hue dekha. Mrs Sharma ne balam ko kahan tha ki uske pati tour par gaye hain. Usse mrs sharma ki chinta thi aur esliye usne police ko bulaya. Police jab aaye tab unhone chor ko pakda aur merey lakh kehne pe bhi unko saamne khada balam dikhayee nahin diya. Unhone mujhe puraskar diya , mrs sharma ne bhi mujhe kiss diya. Aapki dost ki girlfriend aapko kiss kare toh dost kitna naraj hoga. Balam ne mujhse do deen baat nahin ki.
Interviewer:Aap apna ilaaj kyu nahin karvate? balam aap hain!!
Bevdaa:Agar Balam main hoon. toh woh kaun joh apke peeche khada hain. hi balam!! u also say hi to balam.
Interviewer:Udhar koi nahin hain. Khair aap daru peene ke ek aurat ko chadi se maar rahe the.
Bevdaa:Ooops. Sara sar jhoot iljaam. mere gaadi ke sammne ek bhains chal rahein thi. maine honk mara fir bhi gayee nahin. es liye mein uthra aur usse chadi se marne lag gaya. toh log kehne lag gayee, chodon usko. woh mar jayegi. koi aurat ko bachao. main wahan se bhaag gaya, kyunki wahan log bhains ko aurat kehta hain.pata nahin kya kya karte honge bhains ke saath.
Interviewer:Daru ka kharch kaise uthate hain mehengai ke zamane main.
Bevdaa:Main ek shayar hoon aur shayri karta hoon. Dost khush ho kar peela dete hain.
Interviewer: Wah Wah aap shayar hain toh kuch sunayiye.
Bevdaa:Kya tum mujhe daru pilaoge
Interviewer: Haan Haan Pilaunga.
Bevdaa:Aap jaise log hi humko encourage karte hain. Aur phir hume poochte ho ki daru kyu peete ho? thu..
Interviewer: Sunana hain toh suna
Bevdaa:Ok. Ok.
Insaaf Na Khuda Ne Kiya
Na Kiya Insaaf Kudrat Ne
Umeed Insaaf Ki Insaan Se
Hum Kar Baithe
Toh Aisi Khayi Chot Humane
Ki Sharaabi Ban Baithe
Interviewer: Wah Kya Shahyri .. Aap toh aache shayar hain. Apse milke badi khushi hui. Khuda Hafiz.
