hey hair you just went away, did'nt linger and fade to grey
left me to ponder future wiggy days, oh hair why ain't you there
now I'm patchy like a old mat, gonna have to get me a hat
for people will feel compelled to pat, oh hair why ain't you there
guess my hair got lazy and said lets stop,cos when i grow i get the chop
dammed slacker follicles out they drop, oh hair why ain't you there
my fallow crown going to seed, any cure sounds good to me
heard the pube is a hardier breed, oh hair why ain't you there
all that remains is but a few, i spoil them as i have to do
individually they're combed and shampooed , oh hair why ain't you there
my last hair when its deceased, is going on the mantelpiece
how I'm going to stuff it is a mystery, oh hair why ain't you there
everyday a thought comes to pass, my hair is dumb to move on mass
to populate the crack of my ass, oh hair why ain't you there
for its just above where its slack, everywhere else for it i have a knack
i think of this as i comb my back, oh hair why ain't you there
for all those folk who cut my hair, who never said things were looking bare
you bastards all deserve the chair, oh hair why ain't you there
