A hedgehog may seem a formidable beast
With prickles and talons and razor sharp teeth,
A charging rhinoceros just makes it laugh,
It curls up in a ball and then bites it in half.
You'd never guess hedgehogs had any weak link
Which just goes to show you how wrong you can think,
For science professors and those of that ilk
Say a hedgehog will die if it drinks too much milk.
So
Don't put out milk for a hedgehog,
Don't put out yoghourt or cream.
If the fruit of the cow ever passes its lips
It will die with an agonised scream.
Please
Don't put out milk for a hedgehog,
You ought to think carefully first.
It doesn't want guts-ache or pains in the chest,
It'd much rather die of thirst.
A hedgehog eats meat and potatoes,
A hedgehog drinks coffee and tea.
If you give it a quiche or a nice piece of fish,
It will soon be as healthy as me.
A hedgehog loves Bovril and Marmite,
A hedgehog loves honey and jam,
Some toast and a scone and a big juicy bone
And several slices of spam.
But
Don't put out milk for a hedgehog,
Don't put out butter or cheese.
It will splutter and cough, all its spines will fall off,
And then it will probably freeze.
Keep all your milk in the kitchen,
To share with the dog and the cat,
Let hedgehogs rampage till they die of old age,
Or a motor-car squashes them flat
