Mr India is invisible and has lost his watch while he is so. He comes to Byculla Police Station where Havaldar Tambde is writing the FIR. Mr India:Sir Meri Ghadi Gum Ho Gayi. Please FIR Likhiye.
Tambde(Looking at the FIR) :Naam?
Mr India:Mr India Sir
Tambde(Looking at the empty chair and then towards the prison):Yeh Shakeel Band Kar Apna Comedy. Gawde Don De Re Esko.
Shakeel:Sir Maine Kuch Nahin Bola, mein toh bachpan se gunga hu.
Tambde:Toh Kya 500 rupiye ki khursi bolne lag gayee. Saala Yeh Kya Japan Ki Hain.
Mr India:Sir mein dikhayee nahi dunga aapko , mein mr india hu na.
Tambde:Abhi Shakeel Tu Chup Nahin Baitha Naa Toh Tereko Ghagra Choli Pehnake Mein Mrs Byculla Station Banaunga
Mr India:Sir Shakeel Begunah Hain. Mein actually mein real Mr India Hoon.
Tambde ( Looking at the chair):Accha Shakeel Tere ko Comedy Karna Hain Toh Chal Aaj mera bhi mood hain tereko rulane ka.
Mr India:Sir mein Mr India Hoon
Tambde:Tu Mr India Hain Toh Yeh Lamp Uthake dikha
(The Lamp lifts in the air)
Tambde:Shakeel Ka Khisa Dekh , us me Remote Control Chupaya Hoga
Gawde:Sir Saare Kapde Nikale Hain Aab Kahan Haath Dalu
Tambde:Gawde , Labadgiri Bandh Kar
Tambe (Looking at the chair):Accha Table Utha ke Dikha
Mr India:Heavy Hain Sir.
Tambde:Saala Sri Devi halki hain joh usse uthata poore panch minute ke song par aur yeh table bhari hain
Mr India:Sir Meri Ghadi sach mein goom ho gayee
Tambde:Accha Teri Ghadi Bhi Gayab Hogi Toh Hum Dhoondenge Kaise
Mr India:Sir Lal Color Ki chasme Se. Sir aap lal color ka chasma leke aayenge toh mujhe bhi dekh payenge
Tambde:Saala Mumbai Police Lal Color Ke chasme mein ghoomege toh log hume bandar kahenge. Chal teri baat maani ki hum ne lal color ka chasma pehna. aap ghadi kaise pehchanenge.
Mr India:Sir Woh Ghadi gol hain aur usme 3 kaanten hain , ek minute ka , ek second ka aur ek ghante ka. ghante ka kata sab se chota. minute ka sabe se bada aur second ka kaata lal chasme pehenese bhi dikhayi nahin deta.
Tambde:Toh Tumhe Kaise Pata Ki Usme Second Ka Kaata Hain.
Mr India:Sir Woh Instruction Manual Likha Hua Hain. Photo Bhi Hain Sir.
Tambde:Aur bol? Aur Koi Special Nishaan.
Mr India:Sir Likha Hain "To Boney from Sri Devi"
Tambde:Toh Tune Ghadi Ki Chori Ki.
Mr India:Nahin Sir Mujhe Sri Devi Ne Di
Tambde:Yeh Kya Chakkar Hain. Tu Apne Bhai Ka Watch Pehenke Gayab Hoke Apni Bhabhi Ke Saath Duet Gata Hain Aur Tera Bhai Woh Shoot Karta Hain.
Mr India:Sir shooting hain sir.
Tambde:Arre Hum ko Bhi Chance do aise shooting me. Accha shooting hain na, toh ghadi bhi nakli hogi.
Mr India:Haan Sir, Ghadi Bhi Nakli Hain Par Kisi Ne Nakli Ghadi Ko Badal Kar Asli Rakh Di
Tambde: Cha Mayla , Yeh Asli Ko Badal Ke Nakli Ko Rakhte Hue Suna Hain Par Yeh Nakli Ko Badal Ke Asli Ko Rakhte Hain Nahin Suna.
Mr India:Abhi Suna Na Aapne , abhi aap FIR Likenge
Tambde:Chal Tere ko kya lagta hain kahan goom hui
Mr India:Sir Baarish Gir Rahin Thi aur mein sri ke saath naach rahan tha aur tabhi gir gayee ho gi
Tambde:Saala Edhar Byculla Mein Toh Baarish Giri Hi Nahin
Mr India:Sir woh shooting virar mein thi
Tambde:Toh edhar kyu FIR likh rahan hain , virar mein likh
Mr India:Sir woh mein truck mein so gaya aur truck mein edhar aa gaya hoga
Tambde:Toh Wapas Aaj Truck Mein So aur tu virar pahuch jayega
(Mr India falls at the feet of Tambde and starts massaging the feet)
Tambde:Aye Gud Guli bandh kar. aise public mein mard log mardon ko gud guli nahin karte. baad me. ok
Mr India:Toh Aap Ghadi Dhoondenge
Tambde:Accha Haan Dhoondunga. Tuh Kandivli Se Hain Na.
Mr India:Aapko Kaise Pata
Tambde:Kyunki Kandivli Ke Log Hi Bhabhi Ke Saath Duet Gaate Hain
Mr India:Sir!!
Tambde: First joke of the day. Hans Na. Tune Brush Nahin Kiya To Bi Chalega , hans, tere daath kaahn dikhayi dete hain. second joke of the day.
Mr India:Aap Ghadi Dhundiye
Tambde:Nahin
Mr India:Sir Aapko Sri Devi Ki Kasam
(Tamde blushes)
Tambde:Meri Biwi Ke Kasam Deta Toh Bhi Mein Nahin Dhoondta Tha par Sri devi apni favorite actress.
Mumbai police ka admi tumse wada karta hain ki tumko tumhari ghadi jaroor dunga chahe uss chakkar mein mujhe poori mumbai ko gayab kyu naa karna pade.
Tamde:Jara Apna Haath Toh Doh Taki Ghadi Ka size lu
(Mr India Apna Haath Aaage Karta Hain)
(Tambde puts a handcuff on his hand)
Tambde:Dekha Tere Ko Pakda Naa Shakeel. Gawde esko leke jaa.
Mr India:Sir I am telling the truth
Tambde:Haan Tere Saach Aur Jhoot Ka Faisla Ab Adalat Karegi. Aur Woh Adalat Bhi Kisiko Dikhayee Nahin Deti. Woh haunted court mein tumhe pesh karunga , wahan sirf bhoot hote hain. dekh kaise bajata hoon tera mein.
