Scene:
Two characters: A television-news journalist/broadcaster-type interviewer; and a Sarah Palin character. Set in a typical TV news-talk, sound-stage setting. One camera angle.
[BEGIN SKIT]
INTRODUCTION (Interviewer):
Hello, all, and good day. In this segment, we'll be talking with former Alaska Governor, and prominent Conservative spokesperson, Mrs. Sarah Palin. Thank you, Mrs. Palin, for sitting down with us today.
As we know, America is a country with a history of developing solid, reasonable, rational and well-thought-out solutions for its various problems. Along those lines, I'd like to ask you to outline what the Conservatives will do to follow that great American trend.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
First of all, our country is currently sustaining economic and ecological damage from the oil-rig disaster in the Gulf Of Mexico. What corrective actions would you present, if you were faced with dealing with such a crisis, as what's happening along the Gulf Coast?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
If our country was to sustain a natural disaster, similar to the events in Haiti, Chile and Iceland, what steps will Conservatives take to provide aid and relief to the affected areas?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
The United States is experiencing growing trouble along the Mexican border. What's your plan to address this pressing issue?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
And, our nation is considering reforming our current immigration policies. What is your plan to address this issue?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
Our nation's deficit is growing in leaps-and-bounds. What's your plan for reducing this debt and to curb America's spending?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
Our country's unemployment figures are rising at a record rate. What is your plan for creating jobs, stimulating the economy and getting Americans back to work?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
We're experiencing foreign-policy crises that are mounting every day. What is your plan for easing the pressures on our nation from abroad?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
It appears the United States is facing increasing fuel shortages. What is your plan to ensure our nation has the adequate resources it needs?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
There's a lot in the news about the impacts of climate change. What is your plan for stemming the negative effects of such, and reducing its impact globally?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
There's a push among other nations to advance their space-exploration programs as a possible way to control worldwide satellite and communications systems. What is your plan for our space program, and the evolution of NASA to stay competitive?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
Conservatives slammed the recent health-care legislation as costly and inefficient. What is your plan for getting better medical services to those Americans in need?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
The Tea-Parties seem to be gaining steam and further support these days. What are Tea-Party participants plans for the future of the movement?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
If the Republicans fail to gain a majority in Congress after the mid-term election, what plans do they have to keep the party's momentum going, if it suffers such a setback?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, what measures will Conservatives take to determine if it makes a sound?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
QUESTION (Interviewer):
Well, thank you, Mrs. Palin, for taking the time to thoroughly and insightfully answer these important questions about America's future. What's on your schedule, and that of fellow Conservatives, as you proceed toward the 2012 Presidential-Election Campaign?
ANSWER (Palin character):
We'll Just Keep Clinging To Our Constitution, Our Guns, And Our Religion.
[END SCRIPT]
