Holmes the Ballard of Mr Dr Watson Episode 3 Dr Jackal and Mr Hyde Scene 1 Holmes the chief and Watson all standing around a dead body with bullets all through its body, dogs ripping apart the body and knifes all around the body Holmes: how was he killed? Watson: ill determine that Watson starts rummaging through body and steals the guys wallet Chief: your diagnosis?? Watson: this guy was shit poor!!! Holmes: about how he died damn it!! Watson: well there?s 2 possible ways he could?ve died 1 he could?ve been drowned burnt then raped and then shot... Chief: how?d you come to that assumption?? Holmes: assumption? That was his Wednesday night. Chief: ok? Now what about the other way? Watson: suicide. Chief: oh my god!! ?. It?s brilliant, well go with that 1 Holmes: god damn it Watson where did you get your medical diploma? Watson: what?s a medical diploma?? Holmes: you?re kidding right?? Watson stares a head butterfly flies past Watson acts like child and chases it Chief: man I?m worried about that boy Holmes: you?re worried?!? You?re not the one that let him do a penis enlargement surgery on you! Changes scene to Watson in a back alley Watson: hey I?ve been here before this is where I took out teds kidney, good times Hooded figure walks out Watson: who?s that? Ted is that you, damn man I thought you died when I removed your lungs!! Hooded figure: no my name is Hyde, Mr Hyde Watson: nice to meet you Mr Hyde I?m bon Scott Hyde: nu-uh I?m bon Scott you can be Angus young Watson: but you just said you were Mr Hyde? Hyde: and you said you were a transsexual prostitute Watson: uh-oh not again, and that reminds me I forgot to get teds money, man that was one crazy night! Hyde looks terrified at Watson Watson: ok now where were you last night Hyde: I was at a frat party Watson: damn I knew Holmes threw a party without me!! Hyde: can I go now?? Watson: yeah but I?ve got my eye on you A baseball comes out of no-where and hits Watson in the eye Watson: oww damn irony!!! End of scene Scene 2 Holmes standing around Watson walks up Watson: what are you doing Holmes? Holmes: well you see Watson I?ve realised, you?re a terrible sidekick Watson: my teacher said he gave up I felt accomplished by that Holmes: yes, well you see I give up 2 so I?m getting a new assistant Watson: a new assistant? But how can you pay both this new assistant and me?? Holmes: well you see that?s the thing, how to put this in terms you?ll understand? ... You?re fired? Watson: what I?m fired?? Holmes: good you did understand well done. A truck pulls up and a monkey comes off Watson: he?s my replacement?!?!?! Holmes: well at least he?ll have better body odder, and I might be able to have an intelligent conversation. Watson: hey I went to medical school!!! Holmes: really?? Watson: damn!! I thought you wouldn?t question me. Watson storms off changes scene at the house Watson comes in Holmes and Hyde inside Watson: Mr Hyde hello again, Holmes ? where?s the monkey Watson takes plate filled with chocolate ice cream starts to eat it Holmes: he was to unsanitary, by the way ? that?s not ice cream Watson looks terrified then runs to bath room Holmes: so sorry I didn?t get your name? Unknown: Dr Jackal Holmes: alright Mr Dr Jackal Jackal: actually it?s just Dr Jackal Holmes: jackpot!! Watson walks back out Watson: so what can we do for you Mr Hyde? Holmes: you twat!! This is Dr Jackal, my new assistant. Jackal: yes I know of no Mr Hyde and I umm got to go. Jackal runs off Watson follows changes scene Hyde standing over dead body enter Watson Watson: so the murderer was you Jackal Hyde: not Jackal, Hyde Watson: Gods damn it you change more than a girl on her period!! Hyde: leave me be to finish killing this prostitute. Watson: ohhh I think someone needs a lecture on prostitution!!! (Put in Reons prostitution speech) While Watson speaking Hyde trying out different shovels at end Hyde hits Watson with shovel and knocks him out. End scene Scene 3 Jackal: should I book em boss? Holmes: give me a sec ill ?interrogate? this woman behind that bush u sit out here and keep watch Holmes drags hooker behind bushes Holmes (OOV): alright then well just do this and this and take this off and... AHHHHH UR NOT A WOMAN!!!!! Hooker (OOV in really deep voice): baby for 10 bucks I?ll be whatever u want Holmes (OOV): ???. Eh why not 10 mins later
