Obsession Help Camp - The Tarantino Obsessed
Story & Screenplay Written By:
Sam Horton
Based On:
The 7 Films of Quentin Tarantino
Fade In:
Obsession Help Camp: The Tarantino Obsessed
"I couldn't spell anything. I couldn't remember anything, but I could go to a movie and I knew who starred in it, who directed it, everything." - Quentin Tarantino
Int. Waiting Room - Morning
The scene opens with 7 people sitting in a row on chairs, all of them are obsessed with Quentin Tarantino. They are all in suits with different colored ties with each tie representing each movie. One is Pink for "Reservoir Dogs", one is Gold for "Pulp Fiction", one is Blue for "Jackie Brown", one is Yellow for "Kill Bill 1&2", one is Black for "Death Proof", one is Red for "Inglourious Basterds" and the final one is Brown for "Django Unchained". All of them are holding the films that there ties represent. They don't know each other but they are all there for the same reason, while sitting they try to talk with each other (they decide to go by color for names). They are watching the ad from before on the TV, the boy in the Pink tie turns to the Gold tie boy
PINK TIE
What are you here for?
GOLD TIE
My parents think I have a problem
PINK TIE
Same here. I can't quite figure out why
Pink then looks down and sees Gold holding a DVD of "Pulp Fiction".
PINK TIE
I see you're a fan of Pulp Fiction, that's probably my 2nd favorite Tarantino film
GOLD TIE
What's your first?
Pink then holds up a DVD of "Reservoir Dogs"
PINK TIE
Reservoir Dogs! It's his first and his greatest film
...
GOLD TIE
I don't think I'm going to like you
Pink sits back disappointed, at this point two men come out in the typical camper style clothing. One of them is holding a plastic box
RANGER #1
Hello my young happy campers
None of them respond and look at him in an annoyed way
RANGER #1
OK then, so my name is James and next to me is my fellow co-worker Adam
Adam waves slightly
ADAM
Hello, so basically we run Obsession Help Camp which is a small camp...thing where we help you get over any big obsessions you have
JAMES
Thanks Adam, so we've been told by your parents that the main problem with all of you is your obsession with Quentin Tarantino is this correct?
All suddenly become interested and nod their heads, Adam then leans over to James
ADAM
That would explain the suits...and ties
JAMES
And the DVD's of the films they are holding
Adam looks down and sees the DVD's in their hands
ADAM
Yes, that also explains that
JAMES
So guys the first rule of this camp is we must get rid of what we hold dear, so if you could please put all of those DVD's into this box please
Everyone groans but does what they are told, most of them hesitate at putting them in at first. When "Yellow" puts in her DVD of Kill Bill she begins to mildly cry, after a while all the DVD's are put into the box and the lid to the box is shut
JAMES
OK great, now I will hold onto these for the 3 days that we'll be on this camp. Any questions?
All of them hesitate to ask anything, after 4 seconds "Red" puts up his hand
JAMES
Yes you with the red tie
Red proceeds to stand up
RED TIE
So when do we get to kill some Nazi's on this camp?
Everyone is silent and the rangers look at him in mild shock
ADAM
Could you care to repeat that please?
RED TIE
I said when do we get to start killing Nazi's?
ADAM
We don't kill any Nazi's on this trip, why would we kill Nazi...there aren't even any Nazi's here
JAMES
So I guess to answer your question, no we don't kill Nazi's on this trip. Sit back down
Red tie proceeds to sit back down
JAMES
Any other questions?
Yellow puts up her hand and stands up to ask her question like Red Tie did
YELLOW TIE
When can I find the "Deadly Viper's" and teach them a lesson for almost killing me at my wedding?
JAMES
Hang on? You got shot at your...oh hold on there, I'm guessing you like that "Kill Bill" movie don't you?
YELLOW TIE
Well actually there's two films but they're both...
JAMES
Yeah I don't really care, just sit down
Yellow sits down disappointed that her question didn't get answered
ADAM
Now what we do care about is if we can solve your addiction problem, now do you think we can?
Nobody responds
JAMES
I think we can!
ADAM
See that's the spirit, who's with us?
Nobody responds, again
JAMES
Well you know what, let's just get on the bus and have the best 3 days we can!
Everyone gets up in an annoyed and walks to door, the song "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood by Santa Esmeralda" starts playing as the title sequence starts before fading to black.
Ext. Forest - Morning (Around 11am)
Everyone is standing in a circle facing each other, all the campers are giving each other death stares while the rangers give weird looks to each other
JAMES
So before we go any further I want us all to do a small bonding activity, it's nothing to big but I'd like us all to say our names
PINK TIE
I don't think we should go by names
JAMES
Oh I'm dying to know why
PINK TIE
I don't think it's good for us to have any emotional attachment
JAMES
But half the point of this is to make friends, so I think that names are a good start
PINK TIE
But what happens when one of us gets shot or something?
JAMES
Nobody is going to get shot, this isn't a Tarantino film
BLACK TIE
If it was it would be more entertaining
ADAM
You shut your mouth, tell you what since you're all so protective about who you are for now we'll go by...?
PINK TIE
Color?
JAMES
No we shouldn't go by...screw it let's just get this over with. Fine then, I guess you'll all go by...the color of your ties then deal?
Everyone seems positive about the idea and nods except for Pink
PINK TIE
But that means that I'm Mr. Pink
ADAM
Well first we didn't agree on having Mr. in front of our color and second you have a pink tie on so what's the big deal?
PINK TIE
Well Pink is to close to fag or something
JAMES
OK another camp rule, no swearing allowed
Everyone groans
BLUE TIE
But swearing is part of who we are
BROWN TIE
Yeah you can't fucking change that about us
JAMES
That's where you're wrong, it's not part of who you are is part of your obsession and seriously you guys are like probably 16 and look at the mouths on you
GOLD TIE
Look I think I have a solution that's perfect for all of us, one swear word a day for each of us and that's it
ADAM
Fine, but I don't want to hear anybody saying that horrible "N word"
Everyone groans again with disappointment
BROWN TIE
So to clarify you don't want anybody to say ni...
JAMES
Yes that's what we mean, you are now only allowed to say one swear word a day each but the "N word" is terminated from any use by anybody understand?
Everyone nods in disappointment
ADAM
OK good, then let's get going campers and have some fun yeah?
ALL TIES
Yeah (say with no enthusiasm)
JAMES
Loving the enthusiasm, alright then let's go
Everyone starts walking towards the selected campsite
Ext. Forest - Morning
Everyone is walking to the campsite and Pink and Gold are having a conversation
PINK TIE
Look it's very simple, "Like a Virgin" is all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. I should know I've done so much research on it
GOLD TIE
I already know that pink, can we talk about something else like robberies or something?
Adam then walks up to them to check how they're doing
ADAM
What are we talking about back here guys?
PINK TIE
School and...stuff
Adam pats them both on the back and returns to the front with James, Pink and Gold continue the conversation
PINK TIE
I mean sure we can talk about robberies but what robberies can we talk about?
While Pink and Gold continue the conversation, Blue and Black are having a conversation of their own
BLACK TIE
No I had a car but my parents took it away
BLUE TIE
Why? Was it because they didn't like you picking up strangers in it too much or something?
BLACK TIE
Well that was half the reason, the other reason was they didn't like how I tried to paint a skull on the front of the car
BLUE TIE
I see, you weren't planning on killing anyone in that car like in "Death Proof" right?
BLACK TIE
No of course not
BLUE TIE
Shame, that would of made you cooler
Blue walks away from Black who has a shocked look on his face
Ext. Forest - Afternoon
Everyone is at the camp site and all the campers are putting the tents up with the rangers just watching
JAMES
So what do you think about these guys?
ADAM
Well all of their obsessions with this director are pretty big
JAMES
I'll say, it's like this dude is their lives and from what I can tell most of his films are rated R so how they're watching them is beyond me
Adam nods at this
ADAM
So how do you think we can help them with this problem?
JAMES
I don't know, but I do know it's going to take a while
ADAM
I know, have you seen any of that guys films?
JAMES
I saw half of one but I did research on him before this
ADAM
Smart thinking, well I think I have a few ideas about what we can do
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Afternoon
Everyone is standing in a circle once again with all of the tents up in the background, the rangers are in the middle of this circle
ADAM
OK guys nice work with the tents, so our first proper activity I think should be decided by you guys
JAMES
Are you sure that's a good idea?
ADAM
Trust me I know what I'm doing, so what would you guys like to do as an activity to get to know each other?
Red puts up his hand straight away
ADAM
No we are not going to kill any Nazi's
Red puts his hand back down, Yellow puts up her hand
ADAM
We're not going to find some group and kill them either
Yellow puts her hand back down, Gold then puts up his hand
JAMES
Yes uh...gold is it?
Gold nods
JAMES
Anyway what's your suggestion?
GOLD TIE
I was thinking maybe we could have a dancing competition
Everyone seems mildly positive about the idea
ADAM
That sounds like a good idea
JAMES
Um Adam I don't think that's...
ADAM
James trust me, I know what I'm doing. OK then I guess everyone grab a partner
Everyone goes to grab a partner and proceed to stand across from each other, James looks worried as he sees what's going to happen
JAMES
OK I guess the idea is fine, just don't let them...
ADAM
Does anyone have any song requests?
JAMES
Great now you've done it
Gold then turns to Adam holding a USB in his hand
GOLD TIE
Play the first song on this USB
Gold throws it to Adam who is setting up a computer to play the music, Adam turns and catches the USB. He puts it in the computer and finds the folder it's in
ADAM
Alright guys are you ready? Let's do this
Adam selects the song and "You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry" starts playing, everybody twists with their partner while Adam stands there proud of himself. James then goes up to Adam to correct him on his mistake
JAMES
You don't realize what you've done have you?
ADAM
What are you talking about? Everybody's getting along just fine...hold on this is Tarantino related isn't it?
JAMES
You think?
ADAM
Which one?
JAMES
I think this is Pulp Fiction
ADAM
Well this is going to take longer than expected
JAMES
Don't worry we'll let them have this one, but tomorrow I have something up my sleeve
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Morning
A bit of text comes up that says "Day Two", the rangers walk to the tents knocking on them telling them all to wake up. All the campers walk out of the tents (already in suits) tired and annoyed, they form a circle with the rangers.
JAMES
Good morning everyone! Now we understand that you go home tomorrow so today we wanted to start nice and early so we can try and cure the problem as fast as we can
ADAM
Now something I like to do every morning is go for a nice jog, so I want everyone to go for a small jog then come back ready for the rest of the day!
Everyone groans and begins to jog into the distance, Adam and James then start talking once they are far away enough
JAMES
Want to get out of here for a little while?
ADAM
You just read my mind
The two of them begin to walk away
Ext. Forest - Morning
Everyone is still jogging and in the background "Midnight Confession by The Grass Roots" is playing as they run, they all look annoyed but slightly enjoying the run
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Morning
Everyone returns from the run and sees a table with some food on it, a note is in the middle of the table. Blue picks it up and reads it
BLUE TIE
(Reading) Dear Campers, we had to report to business elsewhere in the forest. We understand it's risky to leave you alone but it was urgent, we figured you could stay busy while we're gone by preparing some food to eat for lunch and dinner. Please do try to have fun and remember no swearing, we know it's tempting now but do try. James and Adam.
BROWN TIE
What does the note say?
BLUE TIE
Basically those Basterds pissed off and left us to prepare food
YELLOW TIE
How's that going to help us bond and forget Quentin Tarantino?
BLUE TIE
I don't know but it helps somehow I guess
BLACK TIE
Well if those guys are gone I'm fucking swearing, I don't care what happens
BROWN TIE
You and I are now on the same fucking page buddy
Brown puts his arm around Black, Black shrugs him off and gives him a death stare
PINK TIE
So what now? Do we just prepare food for god knows how many hours?
BLUE TIE
That seems to be the situation
GOLD TIE
God I hate this place
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Early Afternoon
Everyone is at the table preparing the food as told, all of them look bored and have a facial expression that shows they don't want to be there
RED TIE
Man this sucks, when are we going to do something that's fucking exciting? Like...
BLACK TIE
OK even to me that whole killing Nazi's thing is getting annoying
RED TIE
Well for your information maybe I wasn't going to say killing Nazi's
BROWN TIE
Well then what were you going to say
Red stops and thinks though a fake thing to say as he was going to say killing Nazi's earlier, he struggles to think of anything after a while and gives up
RED TIE
OK fine I was going to say killing Nazi's
BLACK TIE
God you are predictable, but I see your point this is really fucking boring
GOLD TIE
Well then let's add some spice to the mix
BLUE TIE
What do you mean spice?
Gold taps Pink on the shoulder who is cutting Strawberries
GOLD TIE
Go over to the laptop we used for the dance thing yesterday and plug in my USB
Pink goes over to the laptop which is sitting on one of the ranger's bags, he puts it on the table with the USB still plugged into it. Gold grabs the computer, starts it up and plays the second song he has on it. "Stuck in the Middle with You by Stealers Wheel" starts playing
PINK TIE
Oh my god, this is like my favorite song
The song continues to play and everyone starts to mildly dance to it like Mr. Blonde in "Reservoir Dogs", before the next verse starts Pink does a swing and gets so into it he throws his knife out of his hand by accident. The knife accidentally stabs Blue in the heart, she stands there in shock and begins to drop on the ground. The song is stopped on the computer by Gold
BLUE TIE
You could have warned me about that you stupid ni...
Blue then drops to the ground dead, everyone crowds around her body in panic. You see Blue with her eyes shut and the handle of a knife sticking out with blood around it
BLACK TIE
Fuck
PINK TIE
I swear I didn't mean to, it just slipped out of my hand
RED TIE
Right into Blue's heart is appears
Everyone moves away from the body and begins to panic
GOLD TIE
Does anybody know what we should do?
Nobody answers as none of them know what to do
YELLOW TIE
This is starting to feel like an actual Tarantino film
Gold then looks up as if he has an idea
GOLD TIE
I've got it, this is like "The Bonnie Situation"
BLACK TIE
What do you mean? Nobody's been shot in the head
GOLD TIE
Well maybe not like that, but we have a dead body and we need to dispose of it
PINK TIE
You can't be serious right now
GOLD TIE
I'm dead serious, we need to get rid of the body right now. Does anybody have any like garbage bags or something?
BROWN TIE
I have some garbage bags
GOLD TIE
Get one, I know exactly what to do with this body
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Afternoon
A bit of text comes up that says "1 Hour Later", Gold returns carrying the bag with his shirt covered in blood. He dumps the bag on the ground and everyone crowds around it, the garbage bag has Blue's tie tied around it
PINK TIE
So your big plan was to chop up the body and dump it in a garbage bag?
GOLD TIE
Yep, pretty smart right?
PINK TIE
I guess it's a good idea if you're a fucking idiot
BLACK TIE
Well I guess this is the best we have, what now?
Gold looks up confused
GOLD TIE
I don't know, but we need to do something
Red then goes to the garbage bag, picks it up and then throws it away from them. You see the bag land in the grass in the distance
RED TIE
There, problem solved
PINK TIE
Sure everything seems to be problem solved, but how are we going to explain all of this to James and Adam?
GOLD TIE
Don't worry I thought of that while disposing of Blue, we just need to not mention her at all and if questions are asked say she ran away
Pink thinks about this for a minute
PINK TIE
I guess it's the best we have, let's just go with it
Everyone nods and goes back to the tents, "Too Old to Die Young by Brother Dege" starts playing. With the song still playing in the background we see a montage of everyone collecting wood and various things for the campfire, everyone has a worried look on their face.
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Late Afternoon
Everybody is outside sitting around a campfire having finished dinner, everyone is still in shock about what happened but they are trying to calm down. James and Adam then come back with the usual cheery grins on their faces
JAMES
Hey campers!
Everybody slightly waves but still looks sad
ADAM
Still loving the enthusiasm guys
Adam and James sit down with everyone, James then sees Gold's shirt is bright red as Gold forgot to take off the blood stained shirt
JAMES
Gold?
Gold looks up at James
GOLD TIE
Yeah?
JAMES
Why is your shirt bright red?
Gold looks down and is now shocked and scared about what's about to happen
GOLD TIE
I don't know what you're talking about
Adam looks at him with suspicion
ADAM
Also where has Blue gone?
GOLD TIE
Blue...ran away
James and Adam look at him in disbelief
JAMES
She ran away?
GOLD TIE
Yeah pretty much
ADAM
Why would she do that?
YELOW TIE
I think it was because...
ADAM
Can it Kill Bill, I'm talking to Gold right now
JAMES
Gold I'm going to ask you one more time, where...is...blue?
Everybody looks around suspiciously while James and Adam just stare at Gold as he continues to look nervous, after a while Pink finally caves in and stands up angrily
PINK TIE
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Everyone looks at Pink
JAMES
What is it?
PINK TIE
Blue...is dead
James and Adam look at him in shock
ADAM
What?! How did this happen?!
PINK TIE
We were all dancing and I got...to into this move I was doing, and I was holding a knife so when I did the move I let go of it and it went straight through Blue's heart which...killed her
James and Adam listen to this in complete shock
PINK TIE
Gold cut up the body, put it in a garbage bag and Red tossed it somewhere into the woods. But at least nobody's ear was cut off right?
Pink slightly laughs while everyone stares at him
JAMES
Well this is very serious, not only have you committed murder but you also chopped up a corpse and threw it in the forest. Don't you guys realize the consequences of this?
Everyone nods in a very upset way
ADAM
Well I'm very sorry to have to do this children, but unfortunately we will have to call the police and have them...
Adam is the stabbed in the heart from a sudden knife and he drops on the ground dead, James jumps back in shock
JAMES
JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE...
James is then stabbed in the heart as well from a sudden knife and he drops to the ground dead, everybody looks over at Red who had thrown the knives
BROWN TIE
Jesus Red, what have you done?!
RED TIE
In no way am I going to jail and I know you're all thinking the same thing
Everyone is still in shock from what happened but slightly agree
PINK TIE
That doesn't mean you kill two innocent people!
RED TIE
Look it's either this or a lifetime in prison, now we know what we have to do now right?
Everyone nods scared to say anything against him
Ext. Campsite - Forest - Early Morning
Everybody is sitting outside of the tents with Gold having two garbage bags next to him, they are watching the sunrise thinking about their next move
YELLOW TIE
Is this really how we're going to spend the rest of our lives, murdering people by "accident" then covering up the tracks?
Everybody looks at Yellow agreeing that what she's saying has a good point
YELLOW TIE
Now I don't know about you guys but this trip has been a really big eye opener for me, I know that I love Quentin Tarantino so much but I don't know if I want to live in the same lifestyle that his films have. I just want to go home and try to put my life together
BLACK TIE
I know how you feel, I put so much of my life into "Death Proof" that I was really just wasting my life. I'm falling behind on grades, I don't even have a social life and I'm in this huge argument with my parents. Right now I just want my old life back before all of...this gets any worse.
BROWN TIE
Back when everything was normal and not just watching some movie character shoot people
RED TIE
Before I spent every day of my life watching hunters kill Nazi's
GOLD TIE
Before I devoted half of my money to finding a "Bad Mother Fucker" wallet instead of buying what I needed
Pink then stands up and everyone looks at him
PINK TIE
Do you know what I think? I think that this camp really has shown us the bad side of our problem. I think that the purpose of the camp actually worked
Everyone slightly agrees with what Pink is saying
RED TIE
So, what's the plan now?
GOLD TIE
I'm thinking we go to the bus, go to our homes and we don't tell anybody about this. What happened here is a secret between me and all of you, nobody else needs to know deal?
Everyone thinks about this for a moment
BLACK TIE
I think I can live with that
GOLD TIE
OK good, come on let's pack up and get our asses out of here
Everybody packs up the tents and their things, once everybody is ready they begin to walk in the direction they came from. Along the way Red and Black toss the two garbage bags into the distance
Ext. Parking Lot - Outside of Forest - Morning
The bus is sitting there waiting for everybody to arrive, everyone that is left arrives at the bus and starts to get on it. Pink stops Gold as he is about to get on the bus
PINK TIE
Gold can I talk to you for a second?
Gold goes with Pink to a corner where they won't be heard by the others
PINK TIE
Are you sure nobody else is going to find out about this?
GOLD TIE
I don't really know, but I guess we'll have to face whatever comes together
PINK TIE
I guess so, so what happens now between you and me?
GOLD TIE
I'll say this, remember when we first met and I said I wasn't going to like you
Pink slowly remembers the first day, he remembers what Gold said then comes back to reality
PINK TIE
Yeah why?
GOLD TIE
Well...things change, now come on we need to go home
Pink smiles at Gold and gets on the bus, at this point "Down in Mexico" by The Coasters starts playing.
Int. Bus - Morning
Once Pink is on the bus the driver stops him
BUS DRIVER
Hang on there mate, weren't there more of you?
PINK TIE
No, it's just us
BUS DRIVER
Are you sure?
PINK TIE
Yes I'm certain
The driver thinks about it for a second
BUS DRIVER
All right then mate, whatever you say
Pink goes further into the bus with the driver looking at him
Ext. Parking Lot - Outside of Forest - Morning
The bus drives away with the song still playing and the credits roll
The End
