Scene: Plane is flying in still air at 35,000 feet. Business class
cabin. Posh seats, five course dinner etc.
Loudspeaker: "Captain speaking ... blah, blah, one of the rear
lavatories is out of use today because Deep Sea World is using the
space to transport two huge sharks. But don't worry, they're in strong metal cages. They can't possibly get out."
Businessman reading Financial Times: "Let's hope he's right about
that."
Other businessman: "Do you think I should sell euro and buy dollars?"
BRFT: "Sell Berlusconi and buy Putin."
OB: (To Minister of Religion across the aisle): "What do you think, minister?"
Minister of Religion: "I don't give a f---."
Scene. Inside rear lavatory. Close up of padlocks on cages. Both locks say, "Made in China."
Aeroplane hits turbulence. Cries of "Oh!" and "F---!" Locks fall off cages onto floor.Sharks climb out.
Sharks (like Beavis and Butthead): "Heh, heh, heh."
Scene. About seat row 20.
Stewardess to passenger: "Tea or beer, madam?"
Madam: "You know, I'm an internationally renowned expert on man-eating sharks on my way to receive a Nobel Prize for Services to the Marine Environment. Are those sharks safe?"
Stewardess: "Completely. Firstly, they're locked in steel cages."
Photograph of shark opening lavatory door.
Stewardess: "...and they can't move on land, madam. They need water. So there's nothing to w-"
Sudden tremendous noise. Bells ring, sirens wail. Sprinkler system
showers passengers with water. Screams, yells etc. Plane starts to toss about like cork in hurricane.
Scene: Shark is pressing fire alarm button. Water level rises in
aeroplane.
Madam: "Whatever you do, don't-"
Shark leaps along the plane and bites Madam's head off.
Shark: Heh, heh, heh!
Voice of minister of religion: "What the f--- is going on?"
Businessman: "It's those bloody peasants in Rubbish Class carrying on."
Scene: Row 20
Distressed woman passenger in back row of plane: "Help! Help! Where's my baby? I can't see my baby anywhere!"
Steward nearby, pointing: "I think that chewed-up lump of raw meat is what's left of him."
Shark: "Heh, heh, heh."
