A Conversation The stage is in darkness.After a few seconds we hear sound of a Skype call, not very loud at first, but the volume increases gradually. The light comes on to reveal a young girl sitting with her back to the audience. She is working at a desk which is covered in books and papers and does not pay any attention to the Skype call. Suddenly, she shakes her head as if waking up from a day-dream, and presses the green reply button. The light goes up on Girl 2, who is sitting on a bed on the other side of the stage. Both are looking at their computers.
Girl 1 (wakes up): Hi!
Girl 2: How are you?
Girl 1: Fine, just finished my first essay.
Girl 2: Oh, nice. I went out on a date last night.
Girl 1: It was on the 'The Rime of The Ancient Mariner.'
Girl 2: He told me I had eyes like a white dove.
Girl 1: It?s about a man who shoots an albatross, with a bow.
Girl 2: He told me my hands were as soft as silk.
Girl 1: I wonder what mark I?ll get?
Girl 2: When he looked me in the eyes...
Girl 1: Now I?ll have start working on the next one.
Girl 2: He even showed me his biceps.
Pause.
Girl 1: I?m so happy.
Girl 2: He told me that I have the beauty of Kim Kardashian.
Girl 1: I have no idea what to write in the next one, though.
Girl 2: He told me his name was Wilfred Wood.
Girl 1: I even handed it in two days before the deadline.
Girl 2: And when he invited me in...He even let me meet his cat.
Girl 1: I will have to work like crazy this year.
Pause.
Girl 2: She?s called Satan. The cat.
Girl 1: Who in world would call their cat Satan? You should see my desk; it?s covered
filled with stuff.
Pause.
Girl 2: She even called me mummy.
Girl 1: Keats, Jane Austen?. I?m not looking forward to the exams.
Girl 2: And when he took me home, he sang ?Kissed by A Rose.?
Girl 1: What if I should fail?
Girl 2: And oh my, the way he kissed.
Girl 1: My tutor hates me.
Girl 2: His tongue was like a storm crashing towards the great white cliffs of Dover.
Pause. Both sigh.
Girl 1: Well, I should be getting on with my work.
Girl 2: I have another date tonight with Wilfred.
Girl 1: I have to be up for a 9 o'clock lecture tomorrow.
Girl 2: I think that he will propose to me. Tonight.
Girl 1: I must get plenty of sleep.
Girl 2: He will propose to me tonight!
Girl 1: I haven?t slept for days.
Girl 2: The diamond will probably be 50 carats.
Girl 1: You haven?t congratulated me.
Pause.
Girl 2: Satan will be the bridesmaid, of course.
Girl 1: I deserve a treat.
Pause
Girl 1: Hang on, someone else is calling me.
Girl 2: We?ll probably get married in the cathedral.
Girl 1: I've accepted his call.
Girl 2: My dress will be amazing.
Girl 1: He has a weird skype name.
Girl 2: Wilfred insisted that I should drink the most expensive champagne last night.
Girl 1: He just asked me out. Wow.
Girl 2: He even paid the waiter money to serenade me.
Girl 1: I?m going!
Girl 2: No one is as lush as Wilfred.
Girl 1: He wants me to meet him at half past eight. By the bus shelter.
Girl 2: Wilfred drives his own bus.
Girl 1: He will be picking me up in his father?s limousine, he says.
Girl 2: Wilfred?s dad owns two limousines.
Girl 1: He really does have beautiful, silky hair.
Girl 2: Wilfred has silkier hair.
Girl 1: His eyes are a perfect shade of blue.
Girl 2: Wilfred?s eyes are bluer.
Pause.
Girl 1: I should choose my outfit for tonight.
Girl 2: My outfit is going to be bright pink.
Girl 1: He probably will kiss me like a storm crashing towards the six o'clock train at Birmingham international station.
Girl 2: I?ll just text Wilfred and ask him where we should meet.
Girl 1: Maybe he?s the one.
Girl 2: Oh, Wilfred says he can?t go out with me tonight after all.
Girl 1: I wonder If I should use my Miss Dior perfume?
Girl 2: I?ll text him back and ask him why he can?t come!
Girl 1: I don?t want to look like Lady Gaga meets Pat Evans from Eastenders.
Girl 2: He says he just can?t...
Girl 1: I must make sure that my makeup is perfect and not a hair out of place.
Girl 2: He just said: No!
Girl 1: I have to look slutty yet classy tonight.
Girl 2: Wilfred doesn?t love me any more.
Girl 1: Maybe I should wear the black dress?
Girl 2: I will not be getting married in the cathedral.
Girl 1: He just asked me if I wanted to go to the St Pierre Restaurant.
Girl 2: No more dates at Yokos.
Girl 1: Oh wait, what about my essay?
Girl 2: Why can?t Wilfred love me, as I love him!
Girl 1: I mean I shouldn?t be going out, I should be working.
Girl 2: I?ll be alone for the rest of my life!
Girl 1: But maybe he can make me happy?
Girl 2: I?ll be living alone in a flat over the fish and chip shop with twenty-three guinea pigs.
Girl 1: What should I do?
Girl 2: I?ll never meet anyone like Wilfred!
Pause
Girl 1: Screw that stupid essay; I?m going to tart myself up.
Girl 2: I bet he has dumped me for someone else.
Girl 1: Wilfred is such a lovely name?
Girl 2: What?
